I have less than one month left in this beautiful place, and
my heart isn’t quite ready to accept that.
So instead of bemoaning the fact and thinking sad thoughts, I am going
to surprise everyone and write about the happy things. And I am really excited about it.
My time here has been really hard. I have seen things I wish I hadn’t and have
been challenged in ways I didn’t even know I could be. But at the same time, I have had a
blast. I LOVE the kiddos here……I LOVE
THEM. Each day, I add more memories with
them, and their little hands grab tighter and tighter around my heart. I couldn’t be more grateful for the
experience. The things I am learning and
the love I am finding is worth all the hardships.
Kids are hard, but kids are also fun. Their giggles are my favorite noise. One day, Briana and I swung the middle aged
boys (7-10 year olds) by their arms and legs onto the bed, and I had the
biggest smile due to their genuine joy and giggles. It was so innocent and pure, and I felt that
for a second, all the crap in their life was forgotten. Not much could bring me more joy than
this.
I love my daily hugs.
Sometimes I have to force them to happen in the beginning. I do things like block them in the room or
chase them around the compound until they give me a hug (which now that I see
it written sounds a bit like harassment, but I promise it’s not :]), but I
think that is half the fun for them sometimes.
The best is when the hugs come out of nowhere. Sometimes I am just sitting on the steps
talking to the older kids when a little munchkin just grabs me around the neck,
leans over and kisses my cheek.
Some days you get to watch a kid who is normally getting
into trouble use parts from the three bikes he owns to make two completely
functional; it is on these days that you just sit back and marvel at their
creativity and give as many high 5s as you can.
Some days you get to watch a 7 year-old girl crash and giggle her way
through learning to ride one of said bikes, after she begged you to help her
learn; these days you take a lot of videos and do a lot of cheering. Some days you have a kid who fears the dark
ask you to sing him to sleep; it is on these days that you do an inner happy
dance, pray with him, and do just what he asked….sing. Some days you get to be the one who comforts
one of the littles while he can’t sleep because he is sick; these days, you
pray for him to have a mother soon and hug/rock his cute self until all he can
do is sleep.
And some days you (miraculously)
help calm the 4 middle aged boys during “rest time” and witness them all being ASLEEP
for some of it; it is on these days that you take pictures then leave the room,
brag to all the tias, and then go out for cake to celebrate (we find lots of
reasons to do this :]).
It’s listening to music and making bracelets. It’s dancing and hair braids (by the talented
Briana). It’s playing soccer, freeze
tag, or hide-and-seekIt’s playing “zombies” and reading stories and praising
their art work and showing them pictures.
It’s folding laundry and cheering for them during soccer practice. . And
sometimes, it’s just talking and laughing together.
Maybe you guys don’t care about all these vague memories,
but I can’t tell you how light my soul feels right now recounting all these
special moments. And with all the
darkness we have battled, I think it is good for you guys to know that there is
also so much light. There is laughter amidst
the tears, tickles among the biting, and “I love you”s within the “SUELTAME!”s
(LET ME GO!).
So please, hear me when I say that I truly do love my time
here. I often share about the hard parts
and all that I am being taught through them.
But I am also enjoying myself and learning from fun things too. Through my good and bad days, God loves me
the same. I want to do that for these
kids as well. I’d do just about anything
for them, and I hope that they believe that.
But more important, I hope that they know and believe that there is One
that did do the hardest/worst/best thing for them……and that they have Hope
because of it.
Continue to fight for these kids with me. Pray that they would know Jesus and truly
feel His love. And while you pray for
them, say a pray for the tias and all the staff that puts in so much time and
effort into their lives. It’s not easy,
and some days require blood, sweat, and tears (literally), but it is so worth it. I am so thankful for all that they do.
These last few weeks are sure to go by very quickly. I already feel myself trying to put up walls
to ease the pain of leaving. Pray that I
continue to be open with the beautiful people surrounding me. I want to live where my feet are, and do it
well. I want to trust the Father with
my heart and future.
Thanks for lifting us up, friends. We need you.
And I love you.